A client from Irvine, when discussing fears and retirement planning, said that he couldn’t believe how hard it was for him to bring up the fact that he wanted to retire to his wife. It’s actually something I’ve heard more than once. This fear makes sense because for many, the act of telling their spouse will be the first time that the thought of actually retiring leaves their internal thoughts and becomes the beginnings of a real plan that will soon go into action. The subject of leaving work is an intimidating one, because of the possible feelings that the announcement may bring up for your spouse, including feelings of fear and uncertainty for the future.
Is retirement a foreign topic?
I’ve noticed that the couples who have made a habit of talking about their finances, and therefore have talked specifically about retirement before, are in a much easier position to speak frankly about the thought of putting their plans into action. You can imagine how difficult it would be to say, “Honey, I’m thinking of retiring” if you’ve never talked about it before. As such, my best piece of advice for couples who want to make the discussion less intimidating, and more likely to flow naturally is to make sure that when you bring it up, it isn’t the first time you’ve talked about it together!
As is true with most difficult things in life, having a plan in place is a way to minimize emotions and maximize productive discussion. Even if you find that you have to deviate from that plan in some way—say you find that you feel the need to retire three years before your original plan—the anchor of having talked about it before will make things less of a surprise.
What to say
With a structure in place, you’ll find it easier to speak from the heart with your spouse about this huge transition. Tell him or her about how you’re feeling, physically and emotionally. Relate your intentions with as much detail as possible, giving a timeline that shows planning and forethought. Finally, include why you think this is the best plan, and if necessary, assure him or her that it’s going to be OK.
No matter where you live, Irvine or elsewhere, retirement planning is going to mitigate a great amount of stress. If you find yourself in need of assistance with the first step, don’t hesitate to give us a call.