Irvine is the jewel of suburbia. Couples come to raise their kids in a community that values education and families. When all those kids go away to college, empty nest syndrome can weigh heavily on the parents—but how long does the nest stay empty?
Adults 22 to 30 are moving back in with their parents. And Irvine, with all those three- and four-bedroom homes must be really feeling the trend.
Why the sudden upswing in boomerang kids? The answers probably won’t surprise you: Job troubles, excessive student loan debt, high costs of living, and more commonly, marital troubles ending in separations. All of these factors mean that twenty-somethings don’t have to look far for a reason to come back home to “reboot,” or as they might put it, “Prepare for the next step.”
In the event that your bundles of joy make you the offer that you (probably) can’t refuse, it’s a good idea to keep some parameters in mind. The retirement planners at Miramontes Capital have seen it all. Parents aren’t just providing room and board for their kids. We’ve seen them fronting the costs of groceries, toilet paper, even cell phone bills and car insurance. Some retirees find themselves in such an awkward place that they’ll gladly put the down payment on a house in order to free themselves of the burden.
Too often families find themselves with unclear, few, or no boundaries, and this can sometimes lead to serious pressure on retirees (and their portfolios). Here are three general guidelines to help navigate the potentially choppy seas.
- Timeframes and checkups—One crucial step you can take right out of the gate is to set a timeline. Vague ones like, “until I get back on my feet” won’t help, either. Set goals together and make a concrete date, like six months from now, to assess them. At the end of the period you can decide what’s been accomplished and how to adjust the plan for the next period.
- Your Financial Future Comes First—Regardless how needy your child may seem, or be, you’ve got to realize that he or she has an entire adult life ahead of them to get on track. You who are in or near retirement do not have that luxury. Set goals for yourself, too. Look at your finances with you financial planner to decide how much you are willing to spend toward accommodating your son or daughter—and try not to compromise. How much help will you be if your retirement goes bust?
- Keep Open Communication—Make a chart for appointments, who’s buying groceries this week, and yes, for chores. Keep the chart in a visible common area. In general, find opportunity for communicating your concerns. It goes both ways.
Most parents accept their children back into their homes because they obviously want to help them, and maybe they even like having the company. If you do, just make sure that you enter the uncharted territory with a map for how to get out of it.